Archive for the ‘PCT’ Category

90 to Zero

Wednesday, August 17th, 2005

The alarm on my cell phone went off early. Soon Sheila, Shamli and I were up and ready to go. We swung by the upper house to say goodbye to my Dad and Susan, then headed to the Weed Bakery where I bought donuts for the hikers that might be at Castella.
I dropped off Sheila and Shamli, who were southbound, then went to the Castle Crags Park campground, where I met and picked up Nickel, Wildcat, Mel and Jim. Breakfast in Dunsmuir was first, then I took Mel and Jim to Shasta City.

After an unsuccessful attempt to leave early, I got on the road headed north and arrived at Breitenbush 5.5 hours later, only stopping to get a tank of gas. In Oregon, gas had long-ago prices like $2.49 a gallon.
I rushed to get dinner in the Breitenbush dining room then moved into cabin E2. I participated in the opening ritual, grabbed the Forest Shelter for my workshop Saturday, then headed down to the river.

I stood on the bridge above the Breitenbush River. A red, muted moon, one tick away from full, sat low and listless in the sky. The grass farmers of the Willamette Valley are burning their fields sending bizarrely powerful columns of smoke that quickly disburse creating an entirely unpleasant visual experience.

I was wrapped in Alison’s coat. I turned to face downstream and started to let go. I knew that I wanted to let go of something about my relationship with Steve. I couldn’t identify what exactly I wanted to let go of. I finally came to whatever didn’t work. I let go of named fears: financial success, professional success, and other stuff. I let go of what ever was making me fat.

After some releasing, fretting, shaking, and stillness, I turned to face upstream and the red moon. I accepted professional and financial success, love (better than Steve and I had), and whatever lessons I was ready for. I acknowledged my gratitude for the community and individuals, for my great life, and more. Arms wide and resting on the bridge, I let in what the river and moon had to offer. I let the river know that I love rivers.
After a little wandering, I decided I wanted to go to the steam room, which was perfect.
I’m alive.
I’m sharing a bed with Bart, and Eric Richter and a new faerie, round out the cabin.