Saturday, July 24, 2004
Cirques and Circus
07/24/04
I woke up in the same mood that I retired with. I grumbled my way though breakfast, and my first climb of the day. When I reached the top, alone, the trail turned onto the narrow ridge and wound delicately to maintain the edge of the ridge. The beauty of the morning light on the inspirational trail lifted my spirits some.
It also brought more of my emotions toward the surface. I hiked on, occasionally choking back tears. When I emerged on a promontory that put me in the sun again after a cool, shadowed morning hillside, I couldn't hold it back any longer. I took off my pack and cried in the nurturing light. The white rocks supported me, and the trees and mountains were my witnesses.
Apple Pie and I had been inadvertently hurting each other's feelings, and we were learning to navigate our reactions and our interactions. Thus the tears.
I think Spur and Apple Pie arrived at my point of distress at the same time. We spent about an hour talking through the issues. It did not end with a group hug. Spur was acting as counselor/mediator, but didn't quite get me there.
I hiked on to more beautiful scenery. The morning was full of cirques: fairly steep-walled mountains, often curved, created by the weight of a glacier sheering off the part of the mountain that's now boulders, rocks and sand.
The texture of the sub-alpine cirques I saw today is great. The peaks are not too far away, the crumbly rock creates a jumbly face then piles of grey rocks pushed around by the weight of each winter's snow, and then the monochrome harshness gives way. Today, the trail pushed through the transition zone from the rock of the mountain to the wet softness of tree'd meadows with red, yellow, purple, blue, pink, and white flowers smiling from their varied green beds.
I worked my way to the Divide where we agreed we'd have an early lunch. During that lunch, we spent over 2 hours making emotional mileage sorting out hurt feelings, reflecting on what was said earlier, bla, bla, bla.
I'm thinking of hiking on, leaving the group. We are not making the progress necessary each day to finish the hike unless there's a particularly mild winter.
I like the group, but I'm not sure I'm willing to sacrifice a completed thru-hike to stay with them. I could be hiking more each day. I have the energy and the food necessary.
Hiking after lunch dropped us down to some lakes.
Dinner brought more discussions, then we hiked to Lena Lake, where we are camped.
I'm in a better mood, but still trying to figure out what's going on. I'm sure the constant irritation from the bug bites is not helping matters.
Don't send me emails trying to boost my spirits. I'm allowed to have a down day. Email me in a week if this mood continues.
